How can I make my husband to be madly in love with me?

quora.com

Mar 15, 2018 11:05 AM

Tiffiany Chére

I give a lot of advice on love.

45w ago

You cannot make your husband—or anyone for that matter—love you. However, there are things you can do to work on your marriage and increase the chances for his love to return but it requires his willingness to participate.

Marital counseling is a great place to start. Marital counseling can do wonders for your marriage, help you get to the root of issues you two may be having, and help you express frustrations you didn’t know you had. You can search for a marital counselor here: Austin Marriage Counseling Therapist (just put in your city or zip code)

Talking it out with your husband is another great place to start. Some men are more communicative than others so this may not be an easy route to take. But talk about something he is interested in (e.g. football) and go from there.

Men also often need a physical connection before they can connect emotionally (they just are not wired like women). So, spice it up! Get some sexy lingerie and surprise your husband when he comes home from a busy day at work. If you have to, get a family member, friend, or nanny to take the kids out of the house (ie if you have children).

Get out of town—the both of you. Sometimes getting out of town for a few days, in a new environment really helps a marriage. A change of environment is always cathartic but particularly for a couple suffering in their relationship. If you guys live in the ‘burbs, book a hotel or AirBnB downtown. Or, go to an all-inclusive resort so that you can have everything there for you in one place; those places are great for couple’s massages and activities.

If your husband is not receptive to working things out in your marriage, none of the aforementioned advice will do any good. It takes two to tango in any relationship, particularly a marriage.

Know that you deserve the best which means someone who loves and appreciates you. Make efforts to work on your marriage issues but realize that you cannot blame yourself if his love never returns. Life is too short to stay with someone who does not love you and/or treats you badly.

Best of luck!

Ajju

studied at Savitribai Phule Pune University

42w ago

This question I hear from women a lot. First, we need to remember that we cannot ‘make’ another person do anything. A good phrase to keep in mind is “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”

The way to get your husband to love you again is by drawing (attracting) him back to you, not by forcing him. What drawing him back can look like will be different for everyone.

Here are some ideas on how to answer the question, 'how can I get my husband to love me again?':

1. Give Him Space. A big mistake is to fear that letting him go means losing him, when actually you can lose somebody by holding on to them too tightly.
2. Go to Counseling. Getting a professional's opinion on yourself and your relationship can be eye opening and invaluable. Don't worry that he won't go with you and go without him (marriage counseling can still work with only one person).
3. Change Yourself. This could mean changing a behavior he dislikes, such as nagging or too often reminding him of the things he does wrong; it could possibly be something about your appearance; don't be desperate to keep him (desperation is a big turnoff).

I'm sure your husband has a lot of things he needs to change about himself, too. But it's a big mistake to focus there at first because he's probably not willing to hear that from you. Nevertheless, it is possible to get your husband to love you again. By changing ourselves our partners can become attracted to us and begin to love us again.

GOOD LUCK. .

Ian Carter

60w ago

That’s a great question.

While you haven’t provided much information, I’ll try and answer your question in the best possible way I can.

You see, falling in love is easy, but staying in love requires effort, commitment, and sacrifice. Everything up until the wedding day looks beautiful, which almost matches with most of what we see in movies. Here’s an excerpt from one of the articles I read on love in marriage — Once the initial shine of new love has worn off, obstacles and hurdles appear seemingly out of nowhere. There are warts; there are regrets — there is baggage.[1]

Also, we often come into marriage with certain assumptions from our dating experiences. Love is a language which often varies from person to person. Each individual speaks a certain love language and it is important for us to know our spouse’s love language. When you begin to build that relationship with your spouse by giving him the respect he needs, and meeting his love language, there is a fair chance for him to reciprocate the same.

If your relationship has experienced too much of hurt, pain, or misunderstandings, it’ll be in your best interest to visit a professional therapist.

Footnotes

Marcia Poole

former Retired (1975-2005)

45w ago

I am so sorry you are going through this, and I am also sorry for the crude responses you received from two men on this forum.

Really, the person you should talk with is your husband. Without being overly emotional, try to find out what changed in your relationship that made you think he doesn’t love you anymore. Marriage counseling is always an option. If not for you both, then just for yourself so you can build up your self esteem.

Focus on the Family: Helping Families Thrive has excellent resources. Or you can call them for more information.

You are loved and I hope you receive the help you deserve.

Priya

Consultant

77w ago

We talk about equality , companionship , transparency in marriage … But men ,I think , need the basics to be satisfied -good food , sex , respect and admiration from wife , a warm home to relax after a day's work .

Try this . But make it interesting with your little quirks … And make him feel special and wanted

Erica Challis

works at Orchestras

115w ago

I think you already know the answer to this. You can't make anybody feel love.
You can however learn better ways to get on together - to fight more fairly and respectfully when you disagree, to negotiate better when you have different needs. You can learn to communicate better so you express what you are feeling before it becomes a problem.

But if your husband doesn't love you - your interests and personality and looks - then there's not a lot you can do. Trying to pretend you're a different kind of person is only going to hurt you eventually, and everything between you and your husband will feel fake and forced.

We get our strength from knowing who we are.

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